This is something I have known, and been labeled as, for at least 11 years now. Being labeled as having BPD is unlike many other mental diagnoses, for the simple fact that once you are labeled as such, you are then also given the label of being unable to be helped. It's a sad fact, but it's just that...a fact.
Many doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, as well as other trained mental health professionals refuse to even work with Borderlines. For some it is because working with someone that is Borderline can be very exhausting; for others it's because they have little or no knowledge or experience in working with those patients. Then there are those that don't even believe that Borderline Personality Disorder is an existing, or real condition. It is usually these doctors, or professionals, that don't believe in Fibromyalgia and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
In my own personal search for answers, I have gone through many mental health care professionals, some better than others, but none, ultimately, being of much real help. Living as someone with BPD can be exhausting and grueling, and at times it almost can feel like a death sentence. There are times when I don't think I will ever be able to live a "normal" life, and that everything I am doing is in vain. (Today, in particular, has been one of those days.)
It's not that I have no goals in life, or that there are not things that I want to accomplish; no, it's that I don't have the ability to function well enough, or long enough, to see those goals and dreams come to fruition. I can be on track and running strong, when all of a sudden the skies darken, and I'm blinded by the darkness of my own mind. And though there are variances within those times, it can take days, weeks, and, lately, even months to fully come out of those periods of chaos and turmoil. Even once I'm out, there's an adjustment period that follows, as things don't always fall right back into their place all neat and nice.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder - and every day is a struggle to make it to the next.
-CFS
No comments:
Post a Comment